the inmate's journal : the corporation xxi : hr & the law iv

Wearing a short blue skirt, tight white blouse, cotton panty briefs, and very supportive bra, Maeby picked up the phone and called my nearly forgotten number in Marketing.  How do I know what she was wearing?  Some months later, she told me … which naturally makes you think that Maeby and I are going to get it on, that in each section I’m following a formula, a standardized flowchart—

And here I’m making claims of the new the new when really I’m just a broken record like everyone else.  OK, it’s true, Maeby and I are going to sleep together.  But you don’t know how we’re going to get there.  And you don’t know if you’re going to be rooting for her or me.  And you don’t know that this is going to be my last fling … or at least the last one I’m going to tell you about.  So let’s sit back and enjoy it, all right?  After all—if, as you were going to bed with someone, you knew it was going to be the last time … wouldn’t that change things somehow …

 

Not that this is my last time.  But you’re going to think it’s my last time.  Or at least you’re going to think that maybe it’s my last time.  Well … you’re at least not going to know any better.

 

Anyway, Maeby was wearing a short blue bra, tight white panties, a very supportive blouse, and a cotton brief skirt.  The point is—my phone rang and I was bored and she giggled and we met for coffee.

 

Jude, she said, her hair streaked with soft ambition, her panties stained with strength, It’s good to meet you.  And we talked about her husband and the future of Mexico and New Bank politics and people we both knew and the weather locally and after the appointed time for blather she came to the meat—As you may know, Erikk’s charged by Mr. Blood with ensuring New Bank stays true to its historic roots of precedence and order.  People think of him as just another scary powerful lawyer, but he’s so much more than this and as you can probably imagine, his task is particularly challenging these days, primarily due to all the talk about human rights and equality.  People actually believe it Jude.  She giggled, and I tried to giggle too, from empathy or doubt I wasn’t sure.  As a result of all this he’s been increasingly concerned about the growing power of HR.  It’s not actually their power—HR has always been quite limited and the risks of actual power Erikk still feels is quite low … however … their potential power has possibly increased and Erikk wants to ensure that things don’t get out of hand.  She paused to adjust her skirt and I watched the slow movement of her hand, the disappearing flesh.  You’ve quite a reputation Jude. 

 

That’s good, because my only specialty was doing nothing.

 

We think you can help us.  Are you willing?

 

I’m not quite sure what …

 

Of course you’re not.  The details can’t really be discussed right now … the whole thing’s rather confidential.  But Erikk needs to know whether you’re onside before we go further.  We need your commitment.  We really think you’re the right person for the job, there’s not many who have your combination of skills.  It’s probably going to be the most challenging thing you’ve ever done … and … it probably goes without saying that you’ll be very well compensated for it.  She adjusted her legs and her skirt slipped a little higher.  I understand if you need a little time to think about it and I’m sure we can expect your complete discretion as you do … but … we do need to know by Friday.  Erikk feels the situation is urgent.

 

Does Mr. Blood know about it?

 

Jude, the seven senior executives who work directly for Mr. Blood frequently are required to manage knowledge in such a way that … Mr. Blood is both aware … and unaware … I think you understand.

 

Of course. 

 

So we talked about her kids and the future of China and New Bank politics and people we both knew and the weather everywhere and she said she had to go and I watched her body drop into the rushing weary river of professionals that nourish our starving world.  And I went home and had a bath and wondered what she looked like naked and didn’t have to think about whether to accept because I knew I’d take the job but had to delay acceptance until the last possible minute according to power’s strange and unalterable laws. 

 

I soon found out my task was to ingratiate myself with Bobbi Childs, New Bank’s Senior Executive Vice President of Human Resources, Chief Knowledge Officer (CKO), and sponsor of Project Dream, New Bank’s visionary enterprise that strove to transform data to information, information to knowledge, and—in its grand final stage of apotheosis—knowledge to wisdom.

 

Dream had five official objectives—

 

1. To exploit New Bank’s intellectual capital as a strategic asset.
2. To uncover opportunities to use knowledge as a competitive advantage.
3. To evolve New Bank to being a just-in-time knowledge organization.
4. To raise awareness internationally across New Bank’s business units, divisions, and subsidiaries of emerging knowledge opportunities.
5. To form alliances with knowledge providers that would aid in accomplishing New Bank’s eventual transformation into a leading hub of wisdom for the global community.

 

Dream’s unofficial objectives were—

 

1. To undermine and eventually consume Project Lazarus.
2. To provide an official platform from which to destabilize Erikk Haze, E.L. Nard, and Mr. Twatfish, all of whom hated Bobbi and devoted at least 20% of their days to discrediting him.
3. To travel to San Francisco as often as possible, where Bobbi maintained an interest in a small Sonoma winery, a yacht, and two or three mistresses.

 

Talk is ongoing, I said to Bobbi, as we lunched in Sonoma at the girl & the fig, sipping on an Alta Maria Grenache, eating pan seared duck breast and chickpea panisse cake.  It’s what led me to Lazarus and frankly what’s propelled me forward.  What interests me in Dream is … (I tried to pause dramatically, having been counseled by Maeby that Bobbi loved dramatic pauses) … 

 

What particularly interests me in Dream is … Bobbi stopped and dabbed his product-happy hair … is its potential to transform New Bank into the kind of place that’s healthy for people … all our people, Jude … all our people … from the young Afro-American who wants to start his own bakery and comes to New Bank for a loan to the Asian customer service representative in Wichita whose Greek husband just left her to the Jewish-Hispanic accountant who owns some of our stock to the journalist of Eastern European descent investigating our marketing practices … we want to be there … productive, supportive, cross-cultural, intentional, significant … we want to be there … we will be there.

 

Exactly.

 

I’m trying to keep the Dream group small and nimble … I’ve got intellectual capital and knowledge management covered and … you can expect an announcement tomorrow on strategic partnerships … my one gap is communications and that’s where you can help us Jude … you come well recommended … you’ve got the right connections in Technology, Marketing, Policy … everywhere it matters … your background in Lazarus and what you did with the MBA situation … it’s remarkable frankly … I’d like you to start as soon as possible.

 

What precisely would you like me …?

 

I think the focus is less important than actually coming on board … look Jude … he glanced around to see if anyone important was listening … I don’t say this to many people … but New Bank, like our civilization as a whole, is at a strategic crossroads … the old paradigms are falling but we’re still acting as if they’re the warp and woof of our business models … Dream isn’t just about putting our people … their attributes, their skills, their knowledge … their wisdom … at the center of everything we do … it’s about our growth Jude … it’s about our happiness … it’s about our … survival … Hubert St. Paterson … he’s central on this … I want you to meet him tomorrow … he’s one of us.

 

And he ordered Tahitian vanilla bean profiteroles with some Wellington 2002 Syrah Port and sent a delighted waitress outside to get him some cigars while he talked about the new lifestyles, made available cafeteria-style to all; how consciousness was expanding, the old barriers were breaking down, gender, race, and religious differences were becoming a thing of the past, and technology was the great enabler, uniting the human spirit in glorious forms of democracy and freedom, uniting human minds to accelerate our transformation, sharing human stories to facilitate growth and stewardship.

 

And before he flew through the doors and up into the sky, he said, Jude … we’re going to make it happen … we’re going to make the principles and values of equality, respect, empowerment, innovation, learning, integrity, excellence, trust, service, initiative, dignity, diversity work … operationally, strategically … powerfully, consistently, constantly … across the full spectrum of everyone who works for us … everyone who works with us … these two really are the same aren’t they … those others … who don’t believe yet … they’re going to be forced to join us … they won’t have a choice … each day the world is closer to the vision humanity’s had ever since we crawled from the caves … Jude … I’m glad to have you part of the team.